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I love Facebook I love the stalking element really, most of the time I see good things, juicy gossip, and the occasional pic of socialites which give me the case of the green eyed monster because I don’t have so many sociable friends anymore!
I imagine these socialites to have a newsfeed full of comedy, glamorous pictures, exciting gossip and just normal people. I wouldn’t know what this is like however because on a daily basis I have the most depressing ‘face friends’. Am I alone? Here’s what I learnt today on Facebook;

1. I woke up to a picture of crusty toes complete with chipped nail varnish.. Why? Because the girl had stumped her toe.
2. I also learnt that someone’s child had been sick all over their bed… Nice.
3. I hear about three people can’t get a job but yet they’ve been applying for jobs for over a year… Really?
4. I obtained an update for the crusty toes this time a closer picture, still with chipped varnish in view.. Why? Why? so I have to see this if your going to post feet at least have them in decent condition! Gag!!
5. Two people were stuck in their ‘usual’ traffic jam.
6. I found out one person is going away on a specific day but this was an update so they are providing the thieves info of the best day to break in.. Lol security at it’s best!
7. I took 5 whole minutes to try and understand one specific sentence which involved the words ‘bot’ = about ‘da’ = the… CRINGE!

So all in all really exciting, but the dilemma is what do I do about these? Delete them? Sounds easy right.
No, not when someone decides to organise a ‘girls night out’ with these crusty toe, sick boasting, whiners and everyone is chatting via inbox and they stop replying once they realise you’ve deleted them. Haha! Oops! I’m not too bothered but you can’t help feeling guilty, there is one question everyone needs to ask themselves before posting..

Do my face friends really want to know this?

Probably not.

I’m overly excited right now! I’ve convinced the husband to let me have a glittery wall in the bedroom!
I’ve been going on about it for ages and ordered some samples and I’m in love! As the queen of bling (I’m well known for it) this is a massive deal!

I’m I really want the silver but am going for a stardust white!

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I’m in love with crushed velvet furniture and glitter wallpaper but so far am only allowed the glitter.. Except for my crushed velvet dining room chairs (I really wanted a velvet sofa).

Anyway check out The Best Wallpaper Place that’s a link to the glitter section, so far good customer service on both twitter and the phone. I’m about to place my order so ill update once the room is done hehe!

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That’s because you don’t really want one..
I have little sympathy for most of those out of employment for months and months because 98% of them have requirements. Unless you have specific experience of which you’ll have a network and a good chance to find a new job you shouldn’t have a list of requirements for your job.

I’ve had to fend for myself since I was 17 and have changed jobs many times before I settled in my career but the maximum I’ve been out of work is 2 months.. How?

Determination and passion is all you need to succeed, if you want something you will get it. Simple.

I’m surrounded by jobless people who ‘have been looking for months for a job and applied for loads’ so they say.
But these same people wouldn’t travel 100 miles to the only job in the country if that’s all there was like I would, because benefits are too easy.

Here’s some tips for successful job hunting;
1. Apply apply apply.. On every website you can find, every role in the local newspapers get it the day it’s published to apply first!
2. Make yourself known.. Write letters to local businesses selling yourself.. Facebook posts asking for a job are not searching for a job! DIY!! I once drove around a whole business estate dropping in my CV and Covering letter.
3. Get on your bike, train, car whatever and drive to the biggest and nearest town.. London, Manchester, Newcastle etc it’s where the money is. Bored of, ‘I don’t want to commute so I refuse to work there’, you see requirements have no place here.
4. No one is too good.. to work in a supermarket. They always have jobs going, always, what makes you think your too good to work in a shop? Used to work in an office? Well you don’t anymore!
5. Persistence breaks Resistance applied before and rejected but now they have jobs? Apply again do you think they really keep your CV on file? No they’ll not remember you neither and if they do bonus.. Shows off your passion.
6. Recruitment agencies are not to be relied on.. Signed up with one agency and feel that’s enough? Leave it out! Get round them all, call them, email them, apply for jobs they have so they notice you and see your CV. You need to be registered with as many as you can find and persist!
7. Sign up for temporary work. you just need a step in, and once there you can ensure that role is needed in the business and voila permanent full time job is yours!
The other flip side is that you may be given a role you’ve never played before and so instantly you’ll have new experience and another alleyway to choose from!

Before I fell into my current career I did many jobs my first job was in McDs!! In between jobs I would do the above and at my worst time during the ‘credit crunch’ I applied for over 500 jobs on just one site to be replied to by probably 5 of them! (Secsinthecity used to record the amount of applications). There’s no excuse, I don’t want to hear it. Only you can make your life what it is, only you can help yourself.
Don’t be another benefit statistic!

Go go go!!

So, daily I use Southeastern train service from Kent to London to get to my place of work currently in the City of London.
I’m not writing this because I’ve on this day had a bad experience and I’m sitting on the train brewing up because they were late/cancelled/boards were out of sync. Rare I’m on the correct train and it’s running well. I’m writing because no matter what the service is like the people don’t change. I’m not sure everyone respects eachother and is on the same wavelength on these trains so I’ve put together my essential tips for commuting;

Avoid garlic the night before travel Apart from the obvious ‘brush your teeth’ I feel this is crucial we’re not trying to warn off vampires here people! (Even though with my current tan tone I may resemble one) There’s nothing worse than getting on the train and having to breath in this stench.. I feel trapped the one next to me is looking out of the window so his breath is circling my face and if I turn to the window too I get the one behind who must me blowing it through the seat gap! Aaaah!

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Eat something before travelling because those food particles from last nights carbonara are still lingering between those tonsils. I have a great tip if you refuse to eat – hold a slice of cucumber at the roof of your mouth for 30 seconds to eliminate those smells. Additionally a good friend once told me if you eat an apple it’s the same as brushing your teeth… Don’t avoid the teeth brushing though.. Please! Fart breath is not tolerable under any circumstances.

Talk, but talk quietly I sound like a proper old bag here but jeez I’m trying to capture the last 20 minutes I’m owed in the land of nod. When you get on with your pals and talk about what happened at the weekend unless your not going to cut out the juicy bits so I can ear-wig shut the fuck up your only next to eachother!

Snoring.. You crack on I find it hilarious! Unless your siting next to me then I find it embarrassing, you’ll receive nothing except a sly dig in the leg to be honest!

Playing Footsie you may have grabbed the seat opposite me but just because our knees act out Newtons Cradle doesn’t mean your feet can protrude over the top of mine. Don’t you know my Forever 21 loafers are extremely sought after! Hehe

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Avoid heads with bags this makes me SO angry! You get some div putting the world to rights traipsing through the carriage because she can’t find a seat bashing everyone’s heads with her ginormous bag. This has happened a few times and boy you receive a mighty ear bashing at least two people have experienced this rage of mine! What’s with this? Jealousy because I found a seat shows through here!

Look before you shout MOVE DOWN THE TRAIN!! Eyes bulging stomping feet sarcastically shouting. Love have you even looked? Do you want us to all sit on eachothers lap? Or play balance board in the middle of the aisle with nothing to hold onto? Some of us have been on the train 30 mins longer than you so if you can’t get on then get out of bed earlier!!

Train pushers, now this is when I lose my rag. Waiting at the platform and your minding your own business standing behind the yellow line, and what happens? Some big and bulshy man or woman decides to stand not next to you but infront of you. Why? Because when that train pulls in and the doors open they are there arms spread pushing on so they get a seat. The other type is that who comes from nowhere barges you to get on the train first and then hogs the aisle whilst they decide which way to turn for the better chance of a seat left or right. I am past pushing now and just end up standing, but one day I’ll be a big bull and bundle the whole lot of them just like when I was at school and was caught in a bundle and lost my shoe at one end of the corridor and found it at the other end. There will be shoes everywhere…

A typical day at London Bridge Station..

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And remember please, thank you, excuse me and sorry go a long way…

So Friday I had a food intolerance test done, I’ve always wanted to do one but never did. I did go to the docs once who just as usual palmed me off and told me to write a good diary and not eat bread. So this test was possibly one of the best things I’ve done as now I know why I’m always bloated, sluggish and feeling fat! You may have gathered I’m constantly on a weight loss mission but generally my diet is not that bad.

So I went to the Purity centre near where I live in Longfield Kent.. I held onto this metal pole and the lady touched my toe with some metal pen like device my body energy made the machine scream until she put some ‘elements’ into the machine which represent different foods such as yeast she’d then touch my toe again (yeah well annoying after 20 digs) and then the machine would try to squeal again unless the food interfered with my energy which suggested a tolerance to which it would quietly grumble like an old dude humming! Pah!

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Turns out I’m not to eat wheat, yeast, sugar!?, wine NOOO, dairy except for cheese and I’m lactose intolerant. Now I know and I notice as soon as I eat things like chocolate, yoghurt etc I bloat out with the worst cramps! Any suggestions for ‘free from’ foods or recipes will be great! I’ve ordered tons of supplements she suggested and trying to follow a Monofood (eat one type of food a time such as chicken and greens no rice or potatoes on the same dish), and Alkaline diet where possible. The lady seems to think after I’ve followed a strict diet I can eventually re-introduce these foods a bit and not have any symptoms! Here goes…

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